This month SOS!SEN spoke to Dr Stephanie Satariano, a chartered Educational Psychologist (Neuropsychology). Stephanie has a special interest in psychological and neuropsychological assessments of children with a range of neurological and neurodevelopmental problems.
Her Doctoral research was in gifted and talented pupils and how to maximise their educational attainment. Stephanie also has a strong interest in early intervention and working with children in the early years, so as to maximise their development long term. This is through direct work with the children as well as through supporting parents and school.
Stephanie has already supported SOS!SEN as a keynote speaker at their recent team day, so we're very grateful to her for taking the time to answer some of our questions - thank you Stephanie! Check out her LinkedIn here.
You’ve supported families through EHC needs assessments and SEND tribunals. What systemic challenges do you see most often, and what changes would make the biggest difference?
Having personally supported a significant number of families through the often-complex journey of securing appropriate special educational needs (SEN) provision, and having consulted with close professional colleagues, including Educational Psychologists and other SEN specialists, I can attest to the profound difficulty in isolating a single "biggest challenge." The landscape is riddled with obstacles, creating a multi-faceted problem.
However, after years of observation and direct involvement, a core issue consistently emerges: the breakdown of effective communication.
In my view, a significant number of the frustrations, delays, and ultimately, the disputes that escalate to the tribunal level, are rooted in a fundamental lack of meaningful dialogue and relationship-building between Local Authority (LA) professionals and families.
If LA professionals were afforded the necessary time, resources, and institutional support to genuinely invest in building stronger, more collaborative relationships with families and to understand their lived experience, I feel that the entire process would be different. When both parties feel heard, the collaborative creation of an Education, Health, and Care Plan (EHCP) becomes possible—a plan that genuinely meets the young person's needs while remaining within the practical capabilities of the Local Authority to uphold.
Crucially, establishing this communicative and collaborative foundation would dramatically reduce the reliance on the costly, emotionally draining, and time-consuming tribunal process. Preventing escalation is not just a benefit to the family's well-being, but a significant strategic and financial gain for the Local Authority, allowing resources to be redirected from legal battles back into frontline provision. It will also reduce pressure on families, which is ultimately in the young person’s best interest.
How do you ensure that children’s voices remain central, especially in complex medical or educational cases?
Hearing the young person's voice is often the most challenging aspect of my work. It's a persistent difficulty, as some children, exhausted by meeting numerous professionals, are reluctant to speak to me. I respect this reluctance, viewing their non-engagement as a valid form of communication that speaks to the pressure and strain they are experiencing. Moreover, meeting a new person can be overwhelming, and they just can’t engage. Some young people prefer to email their views at a later time, which can be really helpful.
My general approach in meetings is to keep the focus entirely on the young person. This means no discussion about them while they are present, and never making them wait outside. I maintain full transparency and honesty, assuring them they are in control and do not have to participate in any activity. In the clinic, I work hard to create a comfortable environment, enabling them to relax and "unmask" as much as possible.
To ensure their voice is truly heard, I triangulate information from multiple sources: parents' perspectives, school observations, the views of other professionals, and all relevant documentation.
Parents often worry about whether they’re “overreacting” or “missing something”. What signs suggest it’s time to seek a psychological or neurodevelopmental assessment?
I cannot stress enough the importance of parental intuition. As a parent, you are the world's leading expert on your own child. You have a unique, 24/7 perspective, observing them across countless contexts and environments—at home, with friends, during moments of triumph, and periods of challenge. You see all their different sides, their unique personalities, and the subtle shifts in their behaviour that an external professional might miss.
This deep, intimate knowledge means that if you have an persistent feeling, a persistent whisper of intuition, that something isn't quite right with your child's emotional wellbeing, behaviour, or development, it should not be dismissed. Please, trust that feeling. It is often the most reliable early warning system you have.
Often, the simple act of having an initial conversation with a qualified professional—a child psychologist or psychotherapist—can be profoundly helpful. This conversation provides invaluable clarity. We can help you process what you are seeing, normalise certain experiences, identify underlying factors, and, crucially, help you establish a constructive, tailored action plan. This plan might involve simple home-based strategies, or it may suggest a pathway for further assessment or support. The goal is always to empower you to support your child effectively and collaboratively.
What are the biggest myths you encounter about autism, ADHD, learning difficulties, or neuropsychological conditions?
It is a common, though deeply misleading, sentiment to hear phrases like, "Everyone has something," or "Everyone is a little bit on the spectrum."
No, everyone is not.
While these statements are often made with the intention of fostering inclusion or minimising the perceived stigma associated with neurodevelopmental differences and mental health challenges, they fundamentally misunderstand and diminish the reality of these conditions.
These are not minor personality quirks or occasional difficulties that everyone experiences. These are real, clinically defined conditions that represent significant, persistent, and often complex difficulties. They are characterised by diagnostic criteria established by medical and psychological professionals, not by fleeting moments of stress or unique personal preferences.
When a young person or family is dealing with a condition like Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), severe anxiety, or other mental health or neurodevelopmental differences, they are contending with challenges that have a significant functional impact on their daily lives. To suggest that "everyone is on the spectrum" or "everyone has a bit of that" is a form of diagnostic dilution. It strips the condition of its gravity and implies that the intense support, therapy, and adjustments families require are merely overreactions to normal life struggles.
Crucially, just because you, as an external observer, do not see the difficulties overtly, it does not mean they are not profoundly present. Many families and young people become adept at "masking" or internalizing their struggles, often at great personal cost, in an attempt to fit in or avoid judgment. Families are not "dramatising" their struggles; they are articulating the need for genuine, often specialist, support for a child who is trying to function in a neurotypical world. Acknowledging the reality and depth of these difficulties is the first step toward providing appropriate, compassionate, and effective intervention.
What role can an Educational Psychologist or Neuropsychologist play in supporting a family through a Tribunal?
In my view, our role extends beyond the immediate, obligatory duties outlined in legislation. While there is the clear, statutory requirement to conduct comprehensive assessments and produce reports that directly inform and dictate the provision of support for a child, this only represents one facet of our work.
I believe an equally, if not more, vital component of our practice lies in the educational and empowering support we provide to parents. It is critical that we focus on really helping parents to achieve a deep and nuanced understanding of what support is truly necessary, why it is required, and, crucially, how to implement it effectively to best support their child's development and well-being.
One of the biggest and most essential roles I feel I play is in preventing the trap of over-provision and therapeutic saturation. There is a common misconception, often driven by anxiety and a desire to "fix" the problem quickly, that more therapies, more intervention, and more structured support automatically leads to better outcomes. In reality, this is frequently counterproductive. Children, particularly those with complex needs, are highly susceptible to burnout. Their cognitive resources are already heavily taxed by navigating a world not always built for them. Therefore, we must advocate for balance. Kids fundamentally need time to just be kids, to relax, to engage in unstructured play, and to pursue their own interests without an agenda or a therapeutic goal attached. This ‘downtime’ is not wasted time; it is essential for consolidating learning, fostering natural social interaction, developing autonomy, and simply allowing their nervous system to regulate. I help parents to embrace a strategic, quality-over-quantity approach, ensuring that the child’s schedule supports their development without sacrificing their childhood or well-being.
What changes would you most like to see in the SEND landscape to make life easier for families?
The most immediate and obvious barrier is securing adequate funding, which impacts the breadth and quality of services available to families.
However, beyond the purely financial constraints, a crucial factor is the quality of understanding and subsequent communication between families and the statutory professionals managing their child's case, particularly their Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) case workers. This relationship is incredibly significant. I have observed a profound difference in a family's overall stress levels and their ability to navigate the complex system when they have established a strong, positive, and communicative working relationship with their assigned SEND case officer. A constructive relationship built on mutual respect and clarity can transform the experience from an adversarial battle into a collaborative partnership focused squarely on the child's needs and best outcomes. This positive dynamic can significantly reduce the emotional burden on parents, leading to more efficient processes and timely support delivery.
Has understanding attachment, behaviour, or emotional regulation professionally changed how you respond to challenging moments as a parent?
Ha! That is a good one. I like to think my professional life and training has given me some kind of parenting superpower, and I truly strive every day to focus on the core principles of my work: building a strong, secure attachment with my boys and consistently supporting their journey toward emotional regulation. I preach about being the 'emotion coach' and the 'secure base,' and I genuinely aim to embody that.
However, I am human. I carry my own emotional baggage, my own unique triggers, and the simple reality of exhaustion and stress. Consequently, I very often find myself falling short. I do not always handle those common, heightened family situations—the meltdowns, the sibling spats, the defiance—with the calm, measured, and perfectly attuned response I know intellectually is best.
It's a running joke I have with myself: I can almost always see my 'psychologist self' standing over me during these moments, looking down with a sharp, judgmental 'tutting' and a palpable shaking of the head, essentially saying, "You know better, Stephanie." In that instant, I am acutely aware that my response was far from the ideal, evidence-based approach I advocate for in my practice.
The critical difference, though, lies in what happens next. While I may not nail the initial reaction, I work incredibly hard on the principle of rupture and repair. I try to return to the situation once everyone is calm, acknowledging my mistake, apologising clearly and genuinely ("I am sorry I shouted; that was my big feeling taking over, and it wasn't fair to you"), and then walking them through how we could have both handled the situation better. This commitment to repair is, in my professional opinion, just as vital for a secure attachment as getting it right the first time. It teaches them that mistakes are inevitable, apologies are powerful, and our relationship is resilient enough to withstand conflict.
Do you ever find it difficult to switch off the psychologist in you and simply be “Mum”? How do you manage that balance?
It's hard to say honestly. Both of my sons are incredibly energetic and experience big emotions. My eldest has ADHD, high-level anxiety, and demand avoidant traits (not diagnosed), and is also a high-masker. My youngest, who is still only five, likely also has ADHD. Because of this, they both require parenting that goes above and beyond what is considered "typical."
While my eldest is quite good at letting me know when he's had enough of the "psychologist stuff" and just doesn't want to engage with or discuss emotions, I find my professional skills have become completely internalised (also my youngest quite enjoys the psychobabble!). I genuinely love analysing and understanding human behaviour, and I don't think I can—or want to—separate my professional and personal ways of thinking.
